Tuesday Talk January 27, 2026

John Richards Tuesday Talk January 27, 2026

This is the Tuesday Talk held January 27, 2026. Tuesday Talks is a gathering on Zoom of devotees from the Ramakant Maharaj USA visit. This is a gathering of devotee’s to discuss and clarify the teachings of Sri Ramakant Maharaj. These spontaneous utterances are recorded and shared with anyone who may find them useful.
Jai Sadguru!

Tuesday Talk January 27, 2026
Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. with minimal editing

 

Q: I received Naam Mantra about three years ago, right. And I've been doing it. But for me personally, I don't know. I guess I do the job of Mantra throughout the day, you know, and I liken it to almost a mindfulness practice in Buddhism, you know, where it's like you, you're using it, it's filtering, it's bringing you to the present moment, you know. So I do that. And then, I try to sit with it in meditation. Um, but I haven't, um, you know, like I, I had, um, about 16 years ago, I had a glimpse of the self, you know, among some other bits of Samadhi. I'm kind of wondering if, um, if I should, um, go back to like, just, just doing breath meditation, because, um, I've read that at some point, you know, with the Naam, it didn't end up stopping it, uh, for some people, and they just be with the breath.

And I know Nisargadatta, he warned against, you know, being too into Samadhi, because it creates an identity for some people, right? But at the same time, he obviously sat long hours, you know, during those three years. And, um, you know, it's, it's not that Samadhi gives you the realization, right?

Like that's not even, it's just, it's not, it's not required at all, but it helps stabilize, right? And so I'm wondering if I should maybe possibly go back to, um, you know, keeping the Naam, but just doing the breath, um, in meditation, because, uh, I feel like, um, I, like I have no, no issue with recognizing that everyone's myself, like this is, I'm the only one that experiences my experience. There's, this all comes from yourself, and this is all, you're formless and all that stuff, right?

Like that's not a problem, but the issue is that I still have issues with my nervous system, having anxiety or fears. And I try to go back to the Naam and I say, you know, just let the Naam do its work. And it helps to some degree, but I've read like, not just in our tradition, but in like say Buddhism that having Samadhi and being able to, um, concentrate and letting those experiences, uh, filter through into your nervous system, that that'll help stabilize you in, in these, um, realizations and stuff.

So, what do you, what do you think? Um, do you think that that's okay for me to just do breathe, uh, with the Naam?

 

John:  If you've been given the Naam, I highly recommend that you continue because eventually you're not actually doing the Mantra. You're just kind of listening to it running through. And when you talk about, uh, like negative, uh, highway, nervous and this sort of thing, um, I can only say from my own self, when I rode on the back of a motorcycle one time with this guy and we were zooming down the highway and I told him, I said, you know, I'm really not liking motorcycles as far as I haven't ridden on them.

And he decided to go and just go crazy. And during that time, I concentrated on the Mantra while I was on the back of the motorcycle. I was just concentrating on the Mantra, and it flowed because I was no longer thinking about the experience that I was experiencing and identifying with a local identification of I'm on the back of this motorcycle and I'm not enjoying it.

And what happens if we crash instead of focusing on Mantra, all the peace came. It was, and it wasn't even just peace. It was just the lack of anxiety, the lack of anything because mind could not sit there and create a thinker thinking thoughts about the situation that it looked like I was experiencing.

 

Q: Yeah. It was like, uh, I use it a lot. Um, uh, you know, not just like trying to say the job, especially that's a good time all the time.  Um, and, and, uh, I mean, that's, you know, it's, uh, there's like another tradition, they call it prayer without season, you know, and it's right, right.

John: Yeah.

Q: What you're doing, you know, correct. Same system.

 

John:  You're inviting attention of the invisible listener consistently and you're clearing away the thought train. You're no longer paying attention to this flow of thoughts because the thoughts are lessening and lessening and lessening. Cause the Mantra is like a broom that just keeps sweeping.

And when you talk about Samadhi, I'm guessing you're talking about your, the sense of presence that's coming. And then there's like a sense of presence. And then there's a sense of a, nothing of you in that sense of presence.

And you're able to just walk about and do your job and just kind of move about without any kind of thought, pressuring you into believing you're a separate body.

 

Q: Well, whenever, whenever I'm doing stuff, typically like just regular, I'm not, I don't have like, uh, pressured thoughts and I'm not having to plan out the next action. It just happens in the moment. But what I'm talking about with Samadhi is, um, you know, just sitting in meditation, being able to, you know, uh, like whenever I saw the self, it was like, everything was, it was just formlessness and it was self-luminous, I guess you'd say.

And, um, you know, it was very much, there was no identity there. I was not Matthew. I was just, it was like the most natural feeling.

And whenever I started realizing, I started observing it, that's whenever I came out of it. Right. And so I was like, I was, you know, years have gone by, I've spoken with some friends with, you know, other practitioners of different traditions and, you know, it's like, um, like that's, that's what I interpret the glimpse of the self as, but as far as, um, you know, I miss that a lot.

I don't, you know, I know that like, I've read that in our, in our tradition, it's like, it doesn't have to be this mind-blowing experience all the time. That's not what it is. It's not a, you don't have this, uh, it's a very normal thing at that point.

Right. But like in the back of my mind, sometimes I'm thinking, you know, with, with say Nisargadatta, you know, having sat for so long and living in the self, right. You know, there's, there's some, there's some problems with terminology, because if you haven't, if you're not like we say, well, you're already Parabrahma.  Right. But if you don't understand that, then it doesn't register. Right.

Only a Jani knows what a Jani experiences. And so, um, if in the back of my mind, I've thought, well, that experience of the self that I had, is that what Nisargadatta and Ramakant have always been in once they realized, you know, if they just existed in that identity-less, uh, formlessness, um, you know, experience, but they would say, well, if it's an experience and you can reflect on it, that's not what it is. Right.

 

John:  So, there's no experience, but that just I, just I, feeling that's the, I am that Nisargadatta Maharaj talks about where you remain with that. Just, I just, I'm speaking about it as presence. These are just words, but it's like just that very, very, very subtle, subtle, subtle sense of presence.

Slowly identification goes away from body and onto the sense of presence as, oh, I am more like this sense of presence than I am this body. This is not a thought. This is just an intuitive understanding, the knowledge, so to speak.

This, after some time of knowing, oh, I'm formless presence, you absolutely understand that whether presence is there or not, I am. And that is your own selfless self, ultimate reality. Presence is an appearance because of body form.

You can feel it, but you are more subtle. I am, I understand, oh, I exist. Just I, just I.

There's nothing there, but still, there's that subtle, subtle experience, for lack of a better word, of just I. You are the one to whom this has appeared. Now this is that black hole that you are just, there's nothing, there's no, you can't think of questions, you can't think to try and talk your way out of believing that you are that you're just here.

That's conviction, oh. Now, moving about your day, you just do your job, do your duties, you don't really pay too much attention to what is happening or not happening. Flow of thoughts has almost totally, completely gone, other than I'm hungry, you have some body-based need, and you go and do this.

You're not a robot or an automaton, you can still fully function in the world, but there's no longer an idea of a timeline of an object in space and time, creating a, quote, life. It's just scenes appearing and disappearing, appearing and disappearing, and then all the words and all these things, you can just throw those out. Jani, or Yanni, and Buddhist, and Hindu, and Nirvana, and Samadhi, and all these there, because they're all body-related, and you are prior to body.

Also, you're not involved in the thoughts or any kind of, like, mental picturing of anything, because you absolutely know that the mind can only show you images, projections of things that came along with the body, because mind came along with the body. Mind cannot be with you, nor can you suddenly say, I'm experiencing myself, because you're creating a duality where there is none.

 

Q: Yeah, I understand that. I just, like, I've noticed that whenever I try to sit, I just feel agitated, and I've tried to, you know, I've tried to cut the caffeine, and different things, and so that's why I was asking if you think that.

 

John:  I don't think breath is a good idea. It's back to egoistic meditation. You're going to be paying attention to breathing as a body form, whereas see, the Mantra is erasing all the concepts slowly, silently, and permanently.

Maharaj talks about it as a broom, so that no sticky concepts can stick, and eventually, if there's no place for these sticky concepts to stick, you lose interest. You're no longer creating worlds of difficulty because of belief and concepts of; I am a body in a world experiencing this experience.

 

Q: Yeah, I've kind of just thought about sometimes just, like, stopping it all together, just because it's like, there's no, like, if you, I feel like if you've seen, you know, it's there, but it's like, having this, this, if the conviction

 

John: Is strong, if right now, tomorrow, they were to say, God forbid, the doctor says, Matthew, you only have a couple of months to live, would there be the experiences and the thoughts of dying?

That's what Nisargadatta Maharaj talks about this, or Sri Ramakant Maharaj talks about on your deathbed, are you going to be shivering and shaking, or do you absolutely know, with conviction, I was never born, I can't die. Like the famous words of Sri Ramana Maharshi, when they told him he was dying, and he didn't understand, he's like, well, where would I go? Like, yeah, that's the deep conviction.

 

Q: I kind of fluctuate, honestly, I mean, because I got surgery coming up next week. And it's like, you know, this is a very real thing for me. And I think, well, I think I just get reborn into this again, there's not a change, there's not anything that I could be different.

There's just whatever is, is, is, and there's no, it's just, you know, just formlessness spread out. And it's just a dream, just like a real dream, you know, so there's not like, there's not a problem. But for me, you know, having been raised in America, and having this Christian upbringing, whenever I was younger, you know, sometimes that little health here creeps in.

And I think, you know, I think this is a deeply seated nervous system issue, you know, where, you know, for me, it's like, like, I don't know, it's just been weird. So it's like, that's why I was wondering about the Samadhi is like, you know, should I try to try to do that more to kind of get the nervous system to just accept the conviction? Because, I mean, you know, I don't believe that we have an intellectual tradition, I think it's very much a direct experience.

 

You've seen it, you've done it, you this is it for you, there's no question.

 

John: But Mantra should be removing doubts, because no doubts can be created. The story of the mother, and the children, the children are very active and mother can't cook. So, she gives them some toys to play with.

And now she can concentrate on cooking. Same with the mind, you're allowing this Mantra to run through the mind, cleaning it, clearing it, so that these thoughts don't come. And as far as surgery, when I went in from my pacemaker, I did the exact same thing, I concentrated on the Mantra, listening to the Mantra naturally running, and went through the entire experience.

Also, I'm assuming you have pictures of the various masters that you bow down to. And you're basically, even though it's a concept in duality, it's a devotion after liberation. So where you're like, oh, master, thank you.

Thank you, master.

 

Q: You know, I may be missing reading books every day, you know, Nisargadatta, Ramakant, Siddharameshwar Maharaj, I have Dasbodh. I'm I spoke with a gentleman, he has a whole bookstore, or like the Marathi stuff. And I was going to try to learn Marathi and just translate the books that you know, we don't have in English, you know, and just something devotional thing, right.

So, but, but, you know, I don't, I don't have their pictures hanging up. And I don't bow to them every day. But for me, the I've had, I'm just kind of weird about like, that aspect of spirituality, to some degree.

 

John: I mean, the main thing is that you surrender the idea that you're separate. That's, that's the, when I went to go see Sri Ramakant Maharaj, I very much understood that that was my concept of God that had manifested in this form. And I was able to bow to the feet and thank that presence that I understood was in the form of Maharaj for this whole thing and coming here and being relieved of so much pain and suffering.

That was a very well-known thing and bowing to the masters. I know even Sri Ramakant Maharaj, he says a lot of the foreigners would come into the ashram and not bow to any of the masters.

But you're not body and that's not body.

 

Q:  Oh, even I had a bad experience before with the teacher.

 

John:  So that's, and see teacher, that's, this is not, teacher is not the body. And I understand there are teachers out there who just teach and then they ask you to do things or they give you all sorts of promises or you must pay lots of money or anything like this. But the reality is yourself is projecting the entire world, including the images or the pictures of the master that you are internally.

And you're not bowing to Sri Ramakant Maharaj, you're bowing to Selfless Self, which is your own self. So, it's not like, it's not like, oh, I'm bowing to this guy's feet. No, this is absolutely, it's just Selfless Self-devotion.

And that also brings about that Selfless Self-intoxication. The more you really remain with the sense of presence, this I am, you can remain with nothing else. Nothing in this illusory world has any kind of pull for you, because it's just this, just this beautiful, just I, just I.

 

Q: You were your own master, correct? You were your own master, right?

 

John: Yes, yes. You are master. There is no such thing as master and disciple.

 

Q: Exactly. So, he doesn't have to have that perception if he doesn't want to.

 

Q: I mean, the thing is, is that it's like, this is all a projection of the self in my, the way that I understand it. And so, it's like, there's, I don't know, maybe the first teacher, I had false ideas about a teacher and that manifested as false ideas, whatever. I don't know them, you know, it's Maya, who knows, right?

So, but the, that devotional aspect is something that I have neglected, I feel like, you know, so.

 

John:  That's a large part. That's, that's why even the bhajans, still to this day, I wake up in the morning, I put the bhajans on, I listen to the bhajans to give that spiritual atmosphere, and then read books from Nisargadatta, Sri Ramakant Maharaj, a couple of different like daily readings and things. And that's just become a way to start the day in that devotional aspect.

But devotion is important. It's, it is because this desire to know yourself is to remove anything that is not. It's a burning desire within.

I don't know if you've read on the website, the Ramakant Maharaj Dakshina, but I outlined that when going to India at the airport, in those words that I said, I was like, I am going to India to bow at the feet of the master and ask that anything that is not that be removed. And that's that devotion that that selfless self-devotion, because whatever bad experience you had led you to Maharaj led you to be able to take Mantra. So it was just one step on the journey.

This is the final destination, your own selfless self. And even to have like preferences of I don't like this, I don't like the bhajans, I don't like that. There’s still something there, creating this situation of I don't want to do this, or I don't like that, or I don't want this.

And the more that that Mantra slowly silently erases, there's no place for these sticky concepts to stick. Like you said about Christian, okay, as a kid, I was I was raised up in Christian. Now with this, as I'm sure you have been able to see, and you already mentioned it is the same, like everything that that that Jesus was saying is what we're saying.

This is the absolute truth. And when you say after I die, I'm not sure about the heavenly experience or this experience or that experience. But you're not going to there's no birth, no death.

 

Q: Yeah, it's just something that is.

 

John:  And this is why it's important. Remain with the Mantra. Slowly, silently, permanently, there won't be no concepts that can stick, because there won't be anything for them to stick to no place to hang that.

The last thing you want to do is like veer off and say, oh, maybe this is not it. Let me go over here. Because you understand that's just game of the mind.

 

Q:  100% 100%.

 

John:  And if you fall into the trap of the mind saying, oh, let's try this master or this over here, or, you know, this is not working for me. Let me do Christianity. Let me do this.

Let me see more of this, or it's just more busyness, because the reality is, all of these are body knowledge. All body knowledge can be discarded, even all the body knowledge. It is because you're not a body, the body knowledge, body relations, body experiences, none of those are you.

 

Q: Yeah, I feel like I'm just like, right on the edge.

 

John:  And the slight push Mantra. And like I said, devotion, at least for my own self. This devotion was extremely important in my whole kind of evolution, if you want to call it that.

Because without it, there would be an egoistic spirituality, like Maharaj talks about of I'm in the river with my leg up for five hours because of this thing, or I walked around Arunachala, or I lived in cave for like, you know, two months in the cave by myself, because Ramana Maharshi did a similar thing. This is all the egoistic, we're talking practical spirituality, where when you know yourself in a real sense, okay, now you just do your job, do your duties, because that conviction is deep. And if for some reason you go through, like you said, surgery, body-based experience, perfect time to be with Mantra.

As in my own case with the food poisoning in India, rather than flipping out about barfing and really being violently sick in a foreign country with nobody that I knew around me to like, quote, help me and relying completely on Mantra and Maharaj and going to a foreign hospital, but not experiencing any of that. And going for pacemaker, again, remain with Mantra, going through the whole experience without experiencing this. So you could say, oh, if there's a sudden kind of flash of this is happening, Mantra, because right now I've already created a local identification of something happening to me.

So why not then use that to experience the Mantra?

Okay. And as I mentioned, even the motorcycle ride, because at first that was no matter how Selfless Self you are, you get on the back of the motorcycle, this dude's doing like 100 miles an hour. And you're like, Oh my god, man.

So, Mantra, Mantra, Mantra. And then, oh, here we are at our destination. And I wasn't even like, like shaking.

So, it wasn't even a physical manifestation of fear, because that had left.

 

Q: Well, thank you for clarifying. I appreciate it.

 

John:  Jai Guru.

 

Q:  It's sort of like devotion is what keeps us here. And it is what we're doing. It is.  It's here. Devotion is, it's sort of why I'm here.

 

John: Devotion just comes from internal, like, even at the ashram. It's funny, because when I went to India, first off, it was, okay, I don't like fruits and vegetables. Well, guess what?

You're going to be eating a lot of vegetables. But I said, internally, I didn't ask Maharaj, but I said internally, Master, please let me look at these vegetables and not register that they're vegetables and just eat and not have something in their blocking, not put a me in the road. Let me just do this, please.

And Mantra, Mantra through lunch. Okay, you're eating vegetables. You would not have done this before.

Waking up really early, because Kakad Arati is like, I don't even know, I think it's like 5am or something. We wake up. And I'm up a little bit before that, because I wake up, take a shower, sometimes hot, sometimes cold, go to the ashram, and begin that he's, the people are sweeping and preparing for the bhajan and putting the flowers and all this sort of thing.

And there's just that natural devotion of just surrendering. And at least in my experience, the surrender was very important, because like I said, the whole thing that brought me into this was a 12 step program, where I was completely out of control, egomaniac off the charts, and then smashed and had to rely on something or someone else to help me, which then led to my understanding of a greater than myself, as this presence, worshipping this presence, thanking this presence, doing the prayers to this presence, which eventually then led to Sri Ramakant Maharaj. And all of that was because it needed to be surrendered, it shouldn't be. I think Nisargadatta, well, Sri Ramakant Maharaj talks about born in Russia, or India, or America, or Britain, and all the different body-based concepts that might have come along with that, but you are not body.

There's no India sky, America sky, Russia sky, they're never at war with each other or complaining or saying you're too far over into my part of the sky. It's not like this. All body-based concepts have to be just; nothing can be held onto.

Because if you hold onto something, then how in the world can you know yourself, unless you create egoistic spirituality of, I'm a very spiritual person, knowing myself. Sri Ramakant Maharaj talks about that trap where it's like, oh, I'm now a spiritual man, and I know that everything I've done, I didn't actually do. But there's the idea that nothing was actually done, and there is no spiritual man.

There's an understanding that's come that before this body, I am. After this body, I am. Or as even Jesus said, before Abraham was, I am.

There never was a time where you were not. There can't be. Because you're all there is, manifesting through the various different forms, in various different ways, just as electricity can charge your phone, you can watch TV, you can have a light, you can have heat, and electricity has no idea what it's doing, it's just supplying the power.

Or in a dream, in a dream, it's a formlessness. You lay down asleep, it's obviously formless, because you're sleeping, and yet the entire dream world is projected, populated, conversations happen, it looks very, very real at the time you're experiencing whatever you're experiencing, and then you wake up. And waking up here is just to know yourself in a real sense.

I am not body, I was not body, I'm not going to remain the body. Invisible, anonymous, unidentified identity, that you are.

 

Q:  Yeah, that's one thing that I've kind of wanted to have more of with Samadhi, is that it's like, when you suspend, you know, you do Pratyahara, and you have sense withdrawal, right? You take away the senses, you exist by your own, there's no need for outside stimulation for you to actually be, you know, you just are. And so that's why I felt like, am I missing that to some degree, to like to stabilize that awareness of, you know, that I exist on my own, you know, without the support of anything, right?

Like closing your eyes, the whole world goes away, you open them back up, it's there. That, it's just, it's not a, how do I put it? It's as simple as that in illustration.

I know we use the dreams and, you know, the dream world and the deep dreamless and that, but it's like, you know, you're the first and you're the last, it's at all, everything that you have comes from you and ends with you. And so knowing that, you know, you don't cut off your hand, and you say, oh, no, I've been cut off. It's like, you know, that you're not the body, you know, that you're not the mind, you know, that you're not the senses or anything else like that.

And so that's why I was like, you know, not having had Samadhi and so long, it's like, you know, that I was thinking that may help stabilize that understanding, you know, so that's.

 

John: When you sit for Mantra meditation, the sense of presence, that's not like, I mean, now that you know that it's there, you can dive into it pretty much any time, right?

Q: I don't feel like that is, I don't know what's blocking that then only the concept that I'm not because that presence maybe is the meds I'm on.

I don't know. Like I’m, I take psych meds too. So, I don't know if that's had a dampening effect or something, but again, that's a body-based thing.

 

John:  So the only thing that's going to cover your own self or concepts, body-based concepts, because again, fire is burning ash ashes, remove fires, burning bread, same thing with that sense of presence, that sense of presence, that just die, just die. Even first thing in the morning, when you first wake up, you can feel that just I, just I. And anytime, I mean, in this moment, drop back in awareness, just falls into the sense of presence and you could call it Samadhi, but it's not, it's just a, it's just your own self.

It's the most natural state.

 

Q: Yeah. There's something that I'm just not catching, I guess. I don't know what it is.

 

John: You know, this concept of I'm not catching it. Remember you are the self, the self, whether you believe yourself to be that or not. So the concept that I'm not catching this, or I'm not progressing or any of this, these are body-based concepts and can be easily removed.

It's absolutely not true. You just sit. Presence is all there is.

That's, that's the, and that's the closest you can quote experience your own self because you are yourself and presence is sort of the first layer, the first concept of duality. I exist, I am, just die, just die. Before the concept of I am something, presence is Selfless Self-intoxication.

 

Q:  That's, that's the, Is that the same as Samadhi? Selfless Self-intoxication?

 

Q:  Samadhi just means concentration. That's all that means. Samadhi is absorption or concentration.

It's not like, it's like whenever you, your mind is absorbed in a meditation object. So, the idea is like, you know, saying the Mantra over and over and over, right? Like at some point you understand the, which you can look it up, right?

But like you understand experientially what the Mantra is. That's the idea with, if you were to have Samadhi on the Mantra.

 

Q:  But it's sort of like stabilization of attention.

 

Q:  Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much.

Yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's a close way of saying it. Yeah.

As far as I'm aware, like, so I don't know.

 

John:  Again, if you have Samadhi, you have an experiencer of Samadhi. Right. That experiencer is not ultimate reality.

Right. So, and then they call them Nirvakalpa Samadhi is the reality of, of just, you're just, you have no awareness of your own self as anything separate.

 

Q:  That's, yeah, that's, and that's what I'm saying is I think the not having Nirvakalpa in like a long time, I feel like I have all this like body-based like stuff that I'm just like, I don't know. I'm going to keep doing the Mantra for sure.

 

John:  Yeah. And all the time, not just in specific periods and forget about meditation because Mantra all the time. Yeah.

Just you're in traffic, Mantra. You're walking to the store, Mantra. You happen to be doing whatever, watching TV, Mantra, whatever it is, because what you just said about not knowing yourself as anything separate, this Mantra will do that because you'll suddenly, again, in my own experiences, you understand from the other side, Oh, I just went to the hospital.

I did this. I did that. I did it, but I did not experience it.

I did not create an experiencer experiencing because mind was concentrated on Mantra. So, it could not create a local identification of an experiencer on which the concepts of fear or the concepts of, Oh, what's going to happen to me or body protection, none of these things could happen because Mantra just didn't allow any hats to be hung.

 

Q:  Would you say that's like an sort of intense focus on the Mantra? Just throughout the day.

 

Q:  I mean, mechanically is what I've been instructed.

 

John:  Well, not mechanically though, because it's like, breathe in first part and breathe out the  second part. And that's that, that, okay. Just slowly, silently, permanently, all the concepts are removed without you having to say, I'm removing them or without you having to concentrate.

Oh, my mind's so busy. That's fine. Mantra.

And you watch yourself. I mean, I know this because in India, I got the Mantra, started doing the Mantra and wound up wandering all over India, totally, completely lost and had to take one of the little rickshaws back to the Ashram because you are so totally absorbed that you do not think about the you, what you are, where you are, what you're doing.

 

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai.

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Talk January 13, 2026

John Richards Tuesday Talk January 13, 2026

This is the Tuesday Talk held January 13, 2026. Tuesday Talks is a gathering on Zoom of devotees from the Ramakant Maharaj USA visit. This is a gathering of devotee’s to discuss and clarify the teachings of Sri Ramakant Maharaj. These spontaneous utterances are recorded and shared with anyone who may find them useful.
Jai Sadguru!

Tuesday Talk January 13, 2026

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai.  with minimal editing.

 

Q: I can say I had a pleasant time since I woke up from a nap today. I just started feeling like everything was just right. It's sort of an unexplainable thing. I guess I've always thought things were... I knew that things are just right at times, but somehow, it's also... I see it's possible for...

But, you know, words are tricky because you say something's right, and that could appear to mean that you know something about it. But this is just right the way it is, everything is just right the way it is, it has nothing to do with words or even... I always thought it had to do with feelings too, but I see that...

I guess earlier today I saw that there's something totally invisible Presence that has to be there for anything else to be present. And I guess that aligns with what you talk about a lot, that this invisible, anonymous identity. It's like a value that can't be specified or limited to any value, but something about it is...

As soon as you say something about it, you're limiting it. So, it's... But there's something that feels really...It's like everything is all right. So, everything, but nothing in particular is recognizable as... I guess it's recognizable from a standpoint of...was that, okay, you have a division is something you can do. It's something that we think of when we divide. We have done the division.

It's like the invisible ability to divide is not... It must be there, but it's not divided. It's not one of the divisions that comes out of it. So, all divisions would be appearances within. I mean, you say division is a concept, but that's not really saying anything either. Because division, the ability to divide is not...It's like invisible. It's there, the ability, the potential, but it's invisible. So, you see where I'm getting at?

 

John: Yeah, I mean, invisible, anonymous, unidentified identity. And the world is all right. Everything is perfect without you, like without creating a you.

That's what you're basically saying, it is like when it's just that formless, just I, just I, the sense of Presence, everything is right. Even if things appear not to be right, because they're occurring within your own self, and because you're not trying to create a local identification and get involved in whatever's happening, that's why it's just, oh, okay, this is just a happening inside my own self without having to say it. Because within your own self, there is no division of you.

There are appearances within you, but even then, you're not dividing. Like you're, and even, again, a dream is a perfect example. The formless dream consciousness creates an entire dream world, populates it, a lot of activities going on, but the dream consciousness wasn't divided.

It was just that all these appearances started appearing, and then moving, and all this, and when you wake up, you know, oh, it wasn't true. So, you can't even say that it was like individuals, even though within the dream, it appears as individuals.

Q: Yeah, it kind of makes everything, it turns everything into a joke. As soon as you start thinking something is something, you can, it's like the joke's on you, because you're the one that's making it out to be a certain way, as if it's dependent on what you think it is, and then...

 

John: Well, that's the power of your attention, or the power of awareness. Awareness directed towards something is, I am aware of. Awareness, quote-unquote, pure awareness, just I, just I, is not directed towards anything.

There's no subject-object created. If you look at something, and you say, oh, that is something, then there is a seer created to have seen this object, but the seeing, just I, just I, there is seeing. Am I seeing?

I don't know. Seeing scenes appearing and disappearing, and without a need to create anything, any obstacles in the way, because as soon as I even say, oh, wow, I'm seeing that everything is myself, then again, that's taking egoistic, kind of, I'm seeing. I see that everything is one with me, but there's no need to say this, because again, you're prior to the very first word, so uttering a word only creates a world of concepts, all within the bubble of illusion.

The you that you are, can't speak, much like, again, they talk about the flute. The flute is giving off all this music and all this, but it's not doing anything. There's a flow coming through that creates these things, but without a flow, without blowing in, the flute, it's just an instrument, just a dead body.

There has to be that power, that energy to come through to then create, to do something, to make a sound, but the flute is totally unaware, and the sound is not, the air that's going through doesn't know, oh, I'm going to be making these sounds. It just flows. No individuality.

 

Q: Dasbodh talks about wind. I'm just reading the page where he was talking about wind and mind mixing together to make creation or something like that.

 

John: Well, again, Dasbodh, the whole concept of Dasbodh is that there is no world, and then this is how the world was created, if there was a world. That's the idea of the elements. But in the very end, too, Dasbodh gives you from the perspective that God wrote the book, because it talks about everything you've heard and this and that.

It's all divine. It came from the divine, and as you can understand, it's the divine that's written this book, but it's not necessarily like people would think of God on some throne that comes down and writes a book. It's, again, the flute.

 

Q: And the words just come out of that.

 

John: Yes, yes, well, because within the bubble of illusion, these instruments have communications. But again, it's the same as in your dream. All the little dream bodies may be carrying on conversations, maybe talking.

You may even have a dream that there's a police officer, and you have people, and you have a fireman, and you have all these. Nobody went to school. Nobody had any professions.

Nobody did anything. It's you. And when you wake up, it's not like you totally destroyed the world.

All the people have a nice view of the lake, and everybody's enjoying a nice sunny day, and you wake up, basically like Armageddon for all these people.

 

Q: But it's Armageddon, well, it's putting, well, it's not Armageddon. It's like making something out of nothing as soon as you think it's you that did it or something.

 

John: Because something appears out of nothing and goes back to nothing, because it always was nothing. The something, the dream, came formlessly. Your dream consciousness, as we'll say, for instance, laying down sleeping, creates the dream world.

And then on the other side, there is no more dream world, because the something appeared, but it's just an appearance. And when you know yourself in a real sense, it's one long continuum with appearance and disappearance.

 

Q: Yeah, I was sort of getting a sense of that, of what you're talking about, things just appear and disappear. It's very simple. It's nothing super profound, except that it makes it easier to go into a sense of ease and what could be called bliss. It makes it sort of more accessible, but less special, maybe.

 

John: I mean, when scenes appear and disappear, it's just like you say, okay, I'm not working anymore. I come home from work and I watch television. There's this scene of television.

And hopefully, your mind is not, like, continuing to try and place you in the illusory existence of work. That's why you say, oh, the person is very stressed. Why is this person stressed?

Because they are living in many different places, worrying about the work, worrying about the bills, worrying about this, worrying about that, all these sorts of things, and creating each one of these worlds and carrying them all with you. So even while you're at home watching TV, the concept is of work, because you're identifying with all these thought flows of work. And your physical body may not be at work, but that mind flow identification is at work while watching TV.

And then you say, oh, this TV show is terrible. I'm not relaxed. Well, you're not relaxed because you're at work, even though you commuted home. And that's only because you've created a local identification.

 

Q: Although the boss will tell you that if you don't get this done in time, it all depends on you. And his point, he's making a you out of you.

 

John: No one can make a you out of you. You make a you. Somebody gives you an assignment to do, you do your job, do your duties, and you leave it.

If my manager said, oh, you have just like, okay, we're coming up on our transition time. And from where I work, all the new Congressmen, as soon as they get elected, we have to create all websites for them and get them all set up and do all this sort of thing. There's going to be a lot of work.

And I will be working at home and in the office and at home and late. But again, it's just do your job, do your duties, take care of your responsibilities, and finish. Only you can create a you.

Your manager can't say, okay, I want you to be Keith right now and do all this stuff. Be working, Keith. It's not.

It's just, I mean, it can be, because again, you are the ultimate reality, and the creation of any illusion is totally possible. I mean, you're creating this whole illusory waking world, and you create a whole illusory dream world. So, you can quite easily create a working Keith, but there's no need for this.

 

Q: That's not all. That's not all there is.

 

John: But there's no need to create any Keith. Because in reality, when you know yourself in a real sense, body is available, but it's no longer a tight suit. It's more like linen suit, just very loose and fluffy, except in the cold, of course.

But then you have a puffer jacket. It's not constricting you. It's nice and puffy, keeps you warm, but you're not constantly focused on it.

 

Q: Sometimes when I don't know if this is true, but sometimes it seems like when I'm in a little bit more of a loose state of mind like that, that the coldness affects me less or sensations me. Coldness is a good example because sometimes I'm usually very sensitive to cold, more so than most people. And then I make a concept out of it, and then I’m ready to resist the cold.

But sometimes it just doesn't affect me because I'm not, I'm in a better state of mind or something. It's not affected.

 

John: Because again, awareness of body sensations, your attention grows anything because your awareness is like, oh, I'm cold. I'm really, really, really cold. Just like the concept of time.

If you go to some lecture and it's just a totally boring lecture, and this guy is almost, you're dozing in and out and you have to keep checking your watch. And that one hour seems like four days, or you do a lecture and the guy is right on and it's, and it's so fast. And you're like, wow, it went by so fast.

Because again, all of that is within you and your attention. If you're constantly looking at the clock do this even at work if you're sitting at work and you're Constantly checking the time. Oh boy. Is that going to be a very long day for you?

But when you're sitting there and you're just doing your job doing your duties taking care of responsibilities. Oh, oh, look, it's lunchtime Okay, go to have a lunch come back. We're doing job, doing responsibilities. Look at that. It's time to go. Okay, good, good.

 

Q: Even if you're like sitting with nothing to do and you could turn that into a state of boredom you could also Just appreciate everything and feel that sort of peace that's there all the time, too you know, and then and then you won't think of it as being bored that you'll actually enjoy it because you're just open to not making it into anything

 

John: Appropriately in each situation But yes that reminds me of when I first was in spirituality like 2010 I guess it was and I Was reading all these books and doing these different meditations and I had this big screensaver of an aquarium That not screensaver But like a video that you could play and I had a big screen from work and I played this aquarium and I had this little Zen garden and everything at my desk and I would break the little sand and put the little things and stuff and the manager walked by and saw this was like What the hell are you doing? I was like, oh, you know, this is just a very nice relaxing I'm just taking a moment to you know, just feel the universe and be one with it and all that He's like, okay. Well, let's do that during lunch break or something like that. So well, no because it was more terrible than getting caught and like I said in 2010 I went through a lot of different very crazy stuff and it was like, you know And I was listening to Mooji at the time too and the whole concept of not doing anything I didn't actually understand it. I didn’t have; I hadn't been in touch with my own self.

I was just hearing this “Don't do anything, you know, you're not a doer. Don't do anything. Everything will get done for you basically”, so I'm at work, you know watching the videos and playing with my Zen garden and I go outside for sometimes an hour at a time and meditate by the fountain and it was just it was too much sattva like they talk about the different gunas when the sattva guna really hypertrophies it's very crazy That's why when I went to go see Maharaj the beard that was all out the long hair the Rudraksh the dashiki Isn't all this kind of stuff? Because the sattva guna had just gone absolutely just bizarre but then once you know yourself in a real sense somebody says oh, you don't do anything. You're like, yeah, of course.

How could I do anything? Like that there's no there's no You know yourself in a real sense. There's no deed. No doer. No birth. No death. But when it’s just conceptualized in the mind You wind up watching fish and raking Zen gardens.

Yeah, just like Eckhart Tolle. When I very first started reading that was the very first book I ever read of any spirituality. He mentioned the Presence around the flower and I literally went to the flower and would stare. I wanted to see the Presence of this flower. I wanted to see That, and I didn't really understand the Presence and these sort of things but the good thing was I had this burning desire to know myself and Although it may have seemed silly to sit there and stare at the flower It was a burning desire to know this Presence.

What is Presence? I want to feel this Presence I want you know if this is true I want to see this and this of course is what you must have You know that that burning desire. I must know myself or in the beginning if it's just I must know this God or I must know how to surrender to God or whatever because when I went to go see Maharaj, I had felt the Presence and I had identified that with a power greater than myself and was going to Maharaj the sole purpose was to bow down and thank God for having changed my life so dramatically through the 12-step program that I was in at that time. Because my life was in shambles before it was just all over the place and I wanted to Bow down to this power greater than myself and say, “Thank You” and now whatever's left of me. I leave it your feet How can I best serve Thee and thank God Maharaj was a real one.

Because there are some out there Okay, give me all your worldly possessions shave your head, you know go to the airport and collect some kind of thing and saying God because I was in that state where I would have been like, okay, let's shave the head let's go to the airport. Let's do this. But even that because the Selfless Self the more you have that desire there's Nisargadatta Maharaj talks about like the self is interested in you and you're interested in the self and it it's an exchange. Actually it's Siddharameshwar Maharaj who talks about that exchange it's like a magnet

 

Q: I guess for some of us it takes longer than others to really to sort that out to where You finally recognized that you Like me, you know, I'm good I feel like, you know, I took another step today into like I could call a clarity or something And it's taken me so many years, but I've always had a sense of it, but there's always you know, this push and pull where Identification takes over or you know, it takes over. It's not like I’m doing that.

 

John: Remember that's illusion, too. Yeah, because when I was going through my quote early stages, I Would go have times where it was just total peace and bliss and I was just like, oh, this is it. This is what they all talk about and then something happens and I'm like, oh then I lose it. Then I of course go online or I go to like the Mooji chats or whatever and it's like, oh I was there and then I lost it and then it came back and then I lost it. But see again concepts and because I was looking for other people who are experiencing these concepts. We're all trying to explain these concepts to one another rather than like Maharaj, it's finished. All these concepts are illusions. Their layers on your Presence. Discard the layer. Presence is there.

How do you discard the layer? Meditation Mantra. Oh, so that I, I am that. Then, you know, it can't come and go

 

Q: Actually, I could feel the way much are working now.

 

John: Right on the spot more so than yeah, it's the magic eraser for illusory concepts like etch a sketch. The old etch a sketch where you would draw something and create these all-beautiful pretty pictures and all that, and then you just go shoo, shoo, and it's all gone. Shoo, shoo is the Mantra

 

Q: Although concepts. Well It's not working that much.

Why did okay? I did the Mantra a couple minutes ago How come I'm not feeling perfect now, you know, that's because then there's a you in the Mantra You just have to continue and Mantras all the time.

 

John: It's not just sitting for meditation That was one thing that was huge in the beginning too. Because as soon as we got Mantra, we all sat around and it was like do like hour or two of meditation But then there was this continuum and that's when the walking around all of India started and it was understood that this Mantra is just consistent cooking hot dogs, Mantra. Getting in the shower, Mantra. Brushing teeth, Mantra. Going to work, Mantra. Commuting, Mantra. Then eventually you just hear Mantra as it's naturally circulate and actually running through the body and then when you're hearing the Mantra, there's an understanding that oh, I'm not doing the Mantra. As much it’s just the invisible anonymous unidentified identity is being texted.

 

Q: Parallel You go with its watchers parallel breathing. It's the background. This is the concept

 

John: Background of everything because you're just like, eventually meditation won't be a thing for you because the entire world is the meditation. You're no longer sitting for meditation because you're not a body, you know, you're not a body So if you're not a body, then the world is actually the meditation. Thoughts are coming and going. Various forms are coming and going. All within your own self and there you are meditating. You don't have to sit there and say oh, I'm going to meditate unless you want to oh That was the thing. I said I was going to do New Year's Eve. Was and I have been doing this previously sitting there and listening to Maharaj all through the evening do the talks and all of that on YouTube. Commercials are insane nowadays. I was like I couldn't do it for more than like four, maybe four or five different talks and I had to stop because every talk it interrupted four times I was like man, this is the worst It was on YouTube or something that was on YouTube.

Yep, you know where we have the YouTube channel and You know all the Maharaj Talks are there in the whole playlist I hit play and all the previous years I've been able to kind of just sit there and kind of doze in and out and hear Maharaj and All throughout the evening all the way into the morning, but this time too much commercials Like I mean four times in a 10-minute speech. That is ridiculous Yeah, and they're loud like he'll be like, you know Invisible not in the Sun identified 499 come on down, you know, it's like oh my god, man. Come on Or that crazy Limu we knew that keeps popping up.

I'm like, oh my god. This is just it's too much so I was not able to do that this year, so we'll see if this year turns out to be Absolutely terrible Now I'm kidding but you know those So even that and see that truly it was like, okay, I can't do it and that's it finish but In the very beginning that would have really bothered me a lot. Like I said, I would have been like, oh my god You know what's going to happen now.

But that's only because you create a local identification. Without a local identification nothing can stick to you. You have nowhere to hang the hat of any concept. If you have a whole bunch of pegs. You know I'm this, I'm that, I believe this, I believe that. Then every hat of every concept can hang If you have no little pegs. Whatever concept tries to hang drops. Very nicely, very easily.

 

Q: We're talking about Being on the job or something and being whether things depend on me or not and it occurred to me that what things will seem to depend on you if they seem to depend on you and you will be living as if You as if what you think is true and you will be feeling that way according to what seems to be true according to the way you think but that's exactly the kind of Spinning wheel we want or Do we want to get off of?

So no, it doesn't depend.

 

John: I mean. Again, this is practical spirituality. I work in a team. If I just sat there and said, oh, you know, everything's going to do itself everything is lovely everything is beautiful The world is beautiful. Nothing relies on me.

 

Q: Well, I'm saying the opposite if everything seems to depend on me and I think I'm the one that's controlling the team Then you know, it's going to go well, no you do your part.

 

John: Yeah, we go back to the Bhagavad-Gita. When Krishna told Arjuna you have to fight. Don't try to be this great warrior. But you have to fight. You, you must do your duty. And do your duty but just in the moment. Without ego. Without taking pride or ownership or doership. It's just in the moment. But if you're on a team you do teamwork. You do what's assigned do your duties and take care of you assigned duties.

 

Q: Excuse me. It's practical. It all doesn't, it all doesn't not Ultimately depend on me. Because even though I'm part of a team if I drop out or if I die The team's going to go on it doesn't depend on me.

 

John: So, I mean in in everything. There's always a replacement for the person. But again, you do your job. You do your duties, take care of your responsibilities. If you are put in charge doing your job and doing your duties, is making sure that everyone else is taking care of their responsibilities and that is your duty. Again without ownership.

 

Q: But I've always thought okay like sometimes I feel free and sort of blissful and then I don't anymore. And somehow, I end up I could get the idea that somehow that depends on something I mean, I don't me that did that can do something about it or because again, you're taking your bliss.

 

John: From outside yourself. You're taking your peace and your bliss and all this sort of thing from outside yourself. You don't want to do this. You're the fountain. Right. Everything is within you. I really don't you start trying to seek happiness and peace and bliss outside Then yeah, you're absolutely right. You're chasing your tail. But the fountain is within. And I really don't. Nectar of immortality sipping just I, just I, Presence there is no person responsible for that. It's just That. There has never been. Are the people in your dream responsible for all the things and yet. Maybe you dream that somebody's walking the dog. Well, they're taking care of their duties. Yes, the duty is being done. Activities are happening. But it's all within your own self.

 

Q: The word one word kept coming to me today. Was it felt perfect. Everything was kind of feeling perfect and that was nice and I could still feel it. You know, it's just kind of perfect It's a concept. I guess you can make a concept out of it, but it's also Beyond concept two or something.

 

John: Well, the absence of any disturbance because you're not there. If you're not there, there's no way to be disturbed. If I have a local identification, then I have a position then I have concepts. I have thoughts about myself If I have no local identification, none of these is true. And that's why Nisargadatta Maharaj said If you say that I'm a very great saint, I'm not impressed. If you say I'm a very terrible saint, I'm not depressed. Because you're not speaking about me. This body form that you see is not myself.

 

Q: I know this There was something there was something Extraordinary about this Nisargadatta Maharaj, the way he expressed things. The guy was just coming from. He's speaking from ultimate reality the bottom of reality He was an intelligent guy, even though he wasn't educated. He was super intelligent or something. Well again, he's speaking from it.

 

John: It's not like he went to school and learned all these things. It's just coming from within. The responses are coming from within. He even says in the book that the responses just come. A question is put and the answer is appearing along with the question. Because there is no questioner and there is no answer. Just like in the dream. If you had one person asked somebody a question in the dream. The questioner and the answerer are exactly the same. Even if the answerer seems very profound in their answer, it's all you.