Thank You God woke up this morning and for the first time since being sick was able to have a solid bathroom experience. Water is not working so had to fill a bucket with scalding hot water and wait for it to cool to try and bathe, Mantraed through the experience. Last night Maharaj stated that the city was being locked down due to a terrorist threat, he has arranged a private car to take me out of the city and to the airport on the 29th. Both of these would have caused a lot of frustration and fear, however now are just seen as tests of the knowledge of Ultimate Reality. When Mantraed through as such seems Master is turning up the “heat” so to speak to test the forgive and forget, patience, tolerance, desire to know, Faith in the Master all to remain Calm and Quiet and stabilize more in the Realization.
OK, God complaining just a little in this moment, forgive me. Whatever is happening I surrender completely to You Master. Surges of negative energies that seem to be engulfed in deeper silence and deeper Peace. Really intense and hard to place in words, Negative is not just seen as passing but rather engulfed, swallowed in Peace, Bliss, Silence. Rather like a turn around of instead of the wave experiencing the ocean, it is only the ocean momentarily experiencing itself as a wave.
Back again just broke down letting more frustration out, screaming inside! LUNCH INSANELY SPICY AGAIN! MORE VEGETABLES IN LUNCH THAT BUGS BUNNY COULD TAKE, BHAJANED OUT 7 HOURS! 7 HOURS OF SINGING AND DANCING. BREAKING DOWN SCREAMING INSIDE! TODAY HAS BEEN A DAY OF HELL AND TORTURE! FROM THE SCALDING BATH, SO FAR 4 HOURS OF SINGING AND DANCING WITH MORE TONIGHT! SINGING PRAYING, DANCING IN AN ENDLESS CIRCLE! If I pull out and go to the Orange Tree Hotel it means the battle for my Self is lost.
Jai Guru! I spoke with Master about today’s feelings and experiences honestly. Thank You for the lessons, the Trust and the Final push, Giving Grateful Thanks Tonight. Jai Sadguru Sri Ramakant Maharaj Ki Jay!