Journal Entry July 8, 2015

One of the hardest things about seeing Reality as it is without a mind cover has been Seen.  Honesty was always a vasana from the beginning. I lied and became a master of lies. Working the program of recovery allowed me to transcend this behavior embedded in the personality and actions of myself. But the ROOT the DEEP core of this vasana was exposed and painfully seen without the aid of a mind cover today. To Thine Own Self Be True is NOT just about my actions and behaviors. Honest reflection takes away the false sense of security that veiled the painful truth and created the false projection. It showed me people loved me when they didn’t, overlooking actions with a hopeful desperate commentator.  People that were trusted when all actions showed they were not to be. Relying on the irresponsible to be responsible, and believing through a delusional hope that they would become so, by my belief and reliance in them.  This also was a prison and a way for the power to be fed to the egoistic sense so that it could color Reality to be more “acceptable”. The more Truth is revealed and the false veil removed, the more it is seen why it was clung too to begin with. Yet of course as the existence of the egoistic sense itself was false, the ONLY way it could provide a “translation” of the world was through an additional layer of falseness. Rather than seeing things as they are and just accepting and then altering the course of action based on the Reality as it is, it veils the Truth in a “comfortable” package. Yet when actions are taken based on this false sense of security the map over the map leads to pain and suffering until finally the map is seen in a moment as a blurred line and inquiry is made “what is that?”.  The more the focus on the line underneath, the more the top map is seen as a screen over the original. The True map is given attention and focus and the apparent veil of differing paths and lines is blurred.  When the new map, the True map,  is earnestly followed and the path is no longer just a maze with no end, that old map seems to just melt and the spot marked home states you are here. Thank You God for this Seeing.